FOUND A SOLUTION.
I know people probably have already run scan after scan, but when I got an email back from BI Support, he suggested
http://www.iobit.com/en/malware-fighter.php
I figured it wasn't going to work but gave it a shot and it removed a ton of shit, I didn't even know I had. Old Malware from back when I used Firefox (ugh). Loaded up DayZ after a restart and bam, worked fine again. Worth a shot you guys.