You know it is time to stop playing with water pistols and give modders some serious weaponry!
For inspiration:
http://killzonekid.com/arma-regex-extensions-regex_match-dll-and-regex_replace-dll/
http://killzonekid.com/arma-scripting-tutorials-regex_match-and-regex_replace-how-to/
A couple of new RegEx scripting commands will do for now :)