To Bohemia Interactive and whoever may have read
I come bearing news in nature of incredulous dread
For spears in the game that you like to call DayZ
Have animations only fit for the wicked and crazy
For players hold spears like guns to their chest
But when players swing them, it's more like a jest
They swing them like shovels, and axes of pick
Trying to kill zeds with the spear's wobbly stick
The sight alone gives people cramps by laughter
But even more damning is stuff that comes after
For spears are weak and don't even swing that far
It's no wonder then the spear stopped being a star
I snuck behind a zombie and swinged at his head
Expecting the wicked beast to fall on ground dead
Instead the zombie cried bloody murder and yelled
And all his friends ate me to my last bloody cell