At the moment there is no way of telling who is flying. Changing assigned vehicle roles and giving copilot driver status would mess up the things too much. However making him an effective commander if he is indeed who is flying will give us the option to detect the pilot.

At the moment effective commander will return the player in both pilot and copilot seats if the player is alone in the heli, and if driver seat is taken by another unit, effective commander will always be the driver/pilot even if the pilot released controls to copilot.